


Waste of Energy

by laurus_nobilis



Category: Gravity Falls, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Canon-Typical Technobabble, Crossover, Gen, Reluctant Teamwork
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:55:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24828682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurus_nobilis/pseuds/laurus_nobilis
Summary: Ford just wants to have a drink at Ten Forward, but of course, trouble follows him.Worf is not at all amused.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14
Collections: A Ficathon Goes Into A Bar





	Waste of Energy

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Into A Bar 2020 with the prompt "Stanford Pines goes into a bar and meets... Worf!".

Ten Forward looked much like the rest of the ship. Everything in it had a plain, sleek design that was both pleasing to the eye and neutral enough that nobody would hate it after months and months of seeing nothing else. The main difference between it and the rest of the Enterprise was the lighting: Ten Forward strove to look like the bar it was supposed to be, and this meant it was slightly darker. It was funny how some things didn't change even across universes.

Ford approached the bar proper, ready to try whatever new things awaited him. Then he noticed the bartender. She was a woman with a knowing smile, who had already managed to make eye contact with him before he gave a single step in her direction. He knew the type. She would probably give him a speech and get all Freudian with him. In an impromptu change of plans, he went all the way to the opposite end of the bar instead, while she was busy serving someone else.

There was only one person sitting in that dark corner. He wore a Star Fleet uniform, but he was not human: the ridges on his forehead made that obvious. Judging from the information Ford had gathered about the ship's crew, there was only one possibility regarding his identity.

"Lieutenant Worf, am I correct?"

"I am off duty," he huffed, without even looking at Ford.

"Yes, of course. I only wanted to ask what you were drinking. Is that the famous Klingon bloodwine I've heard so much about?"

"It's prune juice."

Ford couldn't tell if he was serious or joking. It didn't matter, anyway, because he didn't care. He sat down beside Worf, who didn't even try to make his annoyed growl less noticeable. But Ford had heard much worse growls by now. It came with the whole traveling the multiverse deal.

"What kind of drink would you recommend?" he asked. "I'm willing to try anything. I have developed a very high tolerance to interdimensional alcohol ever since I spent that week in—"

"Ask Guinan," Worf interrupted him. "She is an expert."

"Ah, yes, the bartender. I was hoping to avoid her. She looks like the kind of person who would force you into a conversation whether you want it or not."

"No one likes those people," Worf muttered.

"Unfortunately, it seems to be a common trait among bartenders. A multiversal constant, if you ask me."

"I'm sure Commander Data would be more than happy to hear about your travels. Perhaps he can show you around the ship."

"Oh, I did talk to him. He was very helpful, but then he was called to the engine room." Ford had attempted to follow him, but the chief engineer had turned out to be a very exasperated young man who pretty much kicked him out of there. "So now I have nothing to do."

"You could go to the Holodeck," Worf suggested.

"That sounds like a good idea. I'd like to try that."

Worf looked visibly pleased at that, a great change from his previous behavior. Odd. He must have enjoyed the holodeck a lot, Ford supposed.

"You could try it right now," he said. "I will point you to it—"

But he couldn't do that. Before Worf finished speaking, the whole ship seemed to shake.

"What is it?" asked Ford. "Are we under attack?"

"Impossible. I would have been called to the bridge," said Worf. He was all business all of a sudden. As soon as the floor stopped moving, he let go of the bar and started walking out. Ford followed him.

"Then it must be an anomaly. Spaceships don't shake like that."

"Go away and let me do my job."

"I can help!"

Worf stopped in his tracks and turned around to look at him.

"You don't know what is happening," he said. "And you are a civilian. Go to your quarters and stay there."

"You can't just-"

"Give you orders? I am Chief of Security. Yes, I _can_."

Ford was about to argue when the ship shook again. This time he had nothing to hold onto, so the movement and the surprise were enough to make him stumble and fall. At least he managed to be somewhat dignified and not destroy his glasses in the process. Worf, on the other hand, had smoothly gone into a crouch. Neither of them got up yet; who knew when another shake would happen.

 _Lieutenant Worf! Where are you?_ came a voice from his communicator.

"I'm on my way to the bridge from Ten Forward. I will be there in—"

 _No, stay where you are_ , the voice interrupted. _The ship is experiencing a loss of energy. The elevators and many of the halls have been compromised._

"Aye, sir," was all that Worf said. Judging from his expression, however, he must have even cursing internally quite a bit.

"Should we go back to the bar?"

"We haven't gone that far, so yes. It's better than standing around in the halls."

They turned around, but they didn't make it back to Ten Forward, as close as they still were. The shaking was starting to get more and more frequent. Ford did a quick calculation in his head. He had to estimate the time between shake and shake - he hadn't originally paid all that much attention - but he could get a general picture.

"They're accelerating exponentially. If it goes on like this, we'll soon be shaking non stop," he said. "Can you talk to engineering? They must have a log of the exact times when the anomalies happened."

"I'm sure they already thought of that," Worf grumbled, but he tapped his comm badge anyway. "Mr LaForge?"

_I'm working here, Worf, that better be an emergency._

"Our… visitor has some ideas about what's going on."

 _Yes, so do we._ Now he was starting to sound just as exasperated as he'd been when Ford first met him. _There is some kind of space lamprey stuck to the ship. It's feeding on the engines' energy somehow—_

"And the more it feeds, the faster it moves," Ford interrupted. "I know what this is. It comes from the same dimension I was just in."

"You mean you brought it here?" said Worf. Ford was not impressed.

"It must have followed me through that last portal. Look, this is good news, it means I know how to get rid of it. I just need to make it back to my quarters and get my space lamprey bait."

"Your quarters are on the other side of —"

 _It'd be real nice if you could escort him, Worf_ , said the Chief Engineer in the middle of a new shake. _We can use all the help we can get._

"All right," he sighed. Then he tapped his badge again and turned towards Ford. "Stay close to me and do as I say."

Ford rolled his eyes, but didn't argue even though he really wanted to. He was in a hurry too and, just as he had predicted, the shakes were getting quicker and quicker. Several times along the way, Worf had to keep automatic doors open with sheer strength.

"Impressive," Ford had to admit. 

Worf didn't react much, but he did look a bit pleased. He looked far more pleased, however, when he realized that Ford was also in good physical shape. The faster and faster shakes weren't stopping him from keeping up with Worf's pace. It didn't take them long to get to his quarters.

"Are you sure you know what to do?" Worf asked.

"Very sure, I've done this before." Ford rummaged through the many and varied contents of his suitcase. Bigger-on-the-inside technology could be really useful, but it also meant it wasn't always easy to find what he needed quickly. "Ah! There it is!"

He took what looked like a plain metal cube out of the suitcase. Worf must have been used to all kinds of weird things having secret powers, because he didn't look confused or disappointed. He didn't look impressed, either, but you couldn't always have everything.

"What does it do?"

"There's a really interesting explanation about the way this collects energy and then spreads it again, but long story short, it's like a very tempting snack. I kept this one already charged just in case, last time I had… trouble. Once I activate it, it'll catch the space lamprey's attention long enough for the ship to go into warp and leave."

"Which means you can't activate it inside the ship," said Worf. He might have looked like dumb muscle, but he was catching on quickly. "I'll need to take you to the transporter room."

"Excellent! Once we're there, I'll activate it on a timer and we'll send it off somewhere."

"I'll contact the Captain," said Worf. "Follow me."

Worf talked to the captain while they were already on their way, instead of expecting his approval - which, of course, he gave anyway. Ford liked that. This was a nice crew, very organized. He'd probably enjoy himself during the time he spent here. Especially if they kept running into trouble.

Fortunately for the ship's integrity, the transporter room was relatively close to the guests' quarters. The amount of shaking was more than enough of a delay. Once they were there, Worf contacted engineering again.

"We're here. How far do we need to send this device?"

 _Far enough that we can warp without the lamprey following,_ said the engineer. _I'll give you estimated coordinates_.

"Ready," Worf said when he had input the data. "How long will that take?"

"Not long at all," Ford replied. He touched a couple of hidden buttons on the base on the cube. The transporters were instantaneous, so a forty-five seconds delay would be more than enough. He set the timer and placed the device on one of the designated spots. "There."

He moved away. Worf touched a few buttons. And then the cube was gone.

At first, it seemed like nothing had changed. Then there was one last sudden shake, even stronger than the others. Ford knew that feeling: the space lamprey had detached itself.

 _Good job, guys_ , said LaForge's voice over the comms. _We're clear. Going into warp now_.

At the control panel, Worf looked like he had finally relaxed - well, as much as someone with that kind of personality could relax, in any case. He nodded curtly at Ford.

"That… was a good idea," he acknowledged. "Perhaps we can have a drink now, after all."

Ford grinned at the offer.

"Fantastic! I have a lot of things to ask you about." He pretended not to notice Worf's wince. The man was too funny. "Like the entire history of the ship. Or the specs of the engines."

"Or I could introduce you to Guinan instead."

This time, Ford actually laughed out loud, as he followed Worf out of the transporter room and back towards the bar.

"I knew you had a sense of humor hidden somewhere!" he said. "But, seriously, about the engines…"


End file.
